Dog's Own Land

It's been more than a month since I branted. Didn't have the time. In the meantime, I have moved backed to Japan with my family to spend the next six months in the First World. The last six months in India was better than the first time we stayed there, primarily because we got used to the vagaries of the life there (in my case, it was just reacquainting myself to the life there) much faster thanks to the earlier experience. The usual issues such as power failures, water non-supply and telephone issues became minor irritants even for my wife. That is why I feel I have to apologize for my previous brant.

In case you forgot, I had written about the pervasive stink from the omnipresent garbage in a negative sense, as if it was some disaster. I think it was just a momentary weakness, which made me write that crap. It is not a disaster. It is just a fact. That's how we are. We have to accept our inner scumbags (as G Carlin said). And no amount of window-dressing with slogans evoking supernatural beings is going to change that. That momentary weakness, I believe, could have been caused by the presence of the Japanese guest. As many of you know by now, most Japanese are sticklers for time, cleanliness, obeying laws, and excel at generally being good citizens. So, it shouldn't have come as a surprise when my friend told me the stink in God's own land makes it "mottainai". Well, now we know why we don't see many Japanese tourists. On the other hand we have loads of Europeans staying on for longer periods enjoying the sights and "smells" of the land. Especially the smells, which probably drowns their own smell and saves them some perfume money.

There is this foreign woman who loves dog smell (that's my guess) and is organizing an armed revolt against the government to protect the stray dogs in Trivandrum. And we thought it was the communists (currently ruling Kerala) who organized armed revolts. She has been terrorizing the public, the police, the government and most of all the poor dogcatchers. So, there's no dog catching and every day, when I walk out of my gate, I stare apprehensively at the six dogs that have made the street in front of my house their home and wonder which one is going to give me the charge. And this woman sleeps peacefully at her home in Kovalam. Is it another sign of our weakness? Still in awe of our erstwhile white overlords!

Perhaps it is time to change the "God's own land" slogan to "Kerala - Dog's own land!"

Anyway, here I am, in Japan where there are shops specializing in selling cute dresses for dogs. I once told my wife at a shop: "Hey, check out these baby dresses. Aren't they nice?" She stared at me and explained: "Those are for dogs". Not shocking, considering that haircuts for dogs are more expensive than that for men. I have seen women cleaning up their dog's poop diligently and even wiping their dog's butt clean with tissue paper. It's a dog's life!

P.S. When you (well, maybe not you, but definitely I do) think of it, the "God's own land" slogan is weird in the first place. It throws up lots of awkward questions such as "Which god?" What about Tamil Nadu? God's own neighbour? And anyway, most major gods already have their designated pads - in the Middle East, in Ayodhya, in Kailas, in Bodhgaya etc. - if you believe the respective believers. So, who are we talking about here? Some low-level god wannabe? I, therefore, call for a change of the slogan to the new dog one. It will take the ambiguity out of the slogan and at least dog lovers would be happy.