Ich bin ein Mallu...

This is the second time I'm using the "Ich bin ein Berliner" quote. For those of you who are not particularly good at history, I'll give a brief (as yet untold) background of this quote and also why it's relevant to the Mallu now.

Long time back the Soviets decided to build the Berlin Wall and the West feared a blockade of West Berlin. President Kennedy, showing the spunk that made him the president, immediately summoned top Hollywood actresses to his bedroom to discuss the problem.

Pres: So, what should we do?
Top Hollywood actress: Perhaps you should just hop on....
Pres: Good idea.
Top Hollywood actress: Nooooo, not on me, you ignoramus. I meant get on a plane and go to Berlin.
Pres: Perfect time to get into the black market trade, eh?
Top Hollywood actress: No #$% Go and show your support to the West Germans.

So, the Pres gets on a plane and lands at the airport and spouts the famous words "Ich bin ein Berliner", meaning "I'm da man", but no one seems to understand. Then his security tells him he was in Barcelona and not Berlin. "Ich bin ein Barcelonian or whatever they call themselves. Let's go to Berlin", says the Pres. He reaches Berlin and repeats the words and Berliners were amused at his German accent. That ends the history lesson.

Why is it relevant to the mallu? Well, recently our good neighbour, Tamil Nadu organized a blockade of all the roads leading to Malluland a.k.a. Kerala among other protests. This was all for six feet of water in a 100-year old dam called Mulla periyar (Mullai periyar in Tamil) dam. Tamil land, with the weight of billions of years of culture (refer culture) behind them decided to teach the uncultured, uncouth mallus a lesson. "No more migrant labourers to do your dirty work, a-ha. No more eggs or vegetables for you and no more men in black (pilgrims to a certain Mallu temple), you nincompoops", said the current Talaivar. Unfortunately, the mallus didn't care, except for some newspapers and the few people who would drown if the dam burst.

Now for the relevance of the "Ich bin..." quote to us. We are dependent on Tamil Nadu for all the aforementioned things such as eggs, vegetables and labour, which is not a good scenario. We ought to cultivate Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh so that all our eggs (literally) are not in one basket. And the next time this (blockade) happens, we should try and get Dr. Yeduguru Sandinti Rajasekhara Reddy, chief minister of AP to do a Kennedy. No, not calling up Bollywood actresses to his bedroom, but hopping on a plane and landing in Kerala to proclaim "Ich bin ein Mallu".. njanum oru mallu akunnu.