Candle Lights, Summer and Chinese Khadi...

The chances are slim that you have heard of Candle Night Summer Solstice. This is an event that started off in Japan a few years back, where you turn off the lights for a few hours in the night on June 21 (summer solstice in the northern hemisphere) and contribute to world peace. No, not world peace, but something like that. Global warming? Ethical treatment of animals? Maybe it is to reduce global warming? Anyway, some pretentious lofty ideal, I'm sure. If you're interested, do a google on "candle night summer solstice" to waste some time and energy and to contribute your share of warmth to the globe. My personal take on it is that these are token acts by some guilt-ridden people in rich countries in the hope that somehow they will be absolved of the crime of buying individual tomatoes triple-packed in plastic net, Styrofoam and cellophane wrap at a dollar a pop and consuming them in candle-lit, air-conditioned rooms. If they want a candle light dinner every night, they should come to Kerala, where it is enforced by the government as part of a higher, as yet undisclosed plan to inculcate self-reliance and grit in the people.

Another candle related news. A week after the bombs went off in Mumbai the government had a two-minute silence (why only two minutes?) as a tribute to the dead. Many people lit candles, the BBC news said. Now, where did that come from? This candle lighting is a recent phenomenon and is something borrowed from the West. Something bad happens and a whole bunch of people crawl out of the woodwork (mostly in cities) with candles in their hands and faces that look as if they haven't had a decent outing in the toilet for the last two weeks. Remember, when Diana died. Many a stiff British upper lip was seen melting like candles. And now, no one cares about that woman. A lot of this could be attributed to the advent of all those TV channels and the tripe they serve as news.

Though not related to TV channels, a similar thing that makes me cringe is the human chain events organized by political parties. I remember seeing the Marxist party doing it in Kerala. Hundreds of thousands of grown up (physically, at least) people standing on the highway holding hands for weird, unexplained reasons. What is the fun in doing that, or even watching that? It's like watching an inordinately long art movie. Recent studies (conducted by me) have reveled that the ideal length for an art movie is 5 minutes. And those 5 minutes would include the titles and credits. Anything above that is considered inordinately long and is enjoyed only by the French and bearded guys with khadi bags (soon to be made in Chinese factories). I'm sure we can outsource some of our khadi stuff manufacturing to China. We must, if we're not already doing that. It'd be much cheaper, for one. Sorry, I'm going off track here. This is not about art movies and khadi-clad intellectuals but about guys holding hands in highways.

I think the Marxists, instead of holding hands, should stick to what they are good at. That is, rioting and destroying public property. Private property is also game in some cases. I don't want to delve into dialectical materialism etc., but believe me, trashing of property is allowed. Property is theft (the original in French as Proudhon put it is, "La propriete, c'est le vol!"). Also, it is more fun to watch on TV. Fires, teargas, stones, police in riot gear, etc. Holding hands!! Next thing you know they'll all turn around and start hugging each other. Now, that would be interesting, in the sense that it would give some unwelcome, unholy competition to the holy lady who makes a living off hugging people.

Meanwhile, I'm planning to buy one of those electric lamps that look like flickering candles. There are some really groovy, high-tech stuff (unlike the ones you see in front of Jesus pictures in Christian households in Kerala, where the flickering is caused by unstable power and has nothing to do with technology) available nowadays, which can deceive even the most ardent candle fan. In the long run, I'm sure it'll release less carbon dioxide than a real candle and I'm thinking of pitching this idea to the guys organizing that summer solstice event in Japan.