20,000 Nanometres Under the Sea

I'm back from my vacation and now I need a new vacation to relieve the weariness of the vacation. I stayed away from PCs and the Internet for a week and didn't have any withdrawal symptoms as such. I did watch football on TV and relied only on newspapers for information as I used to do in the good old days, though Honolulu was a bit slow on Indian news.

First, a little bit about the vacation. Besides all the regular activities like going to the beach and the pool and overloading on food and beer, I tried something called breathing observation bubble (BOB). And failed spectacularly. This is an underwater scooter kind of thing you can use to scour the seabed (you usually see these gadgets only in James Bond movies). I got into the bubble, which was then lowered into the sea (there is an experienced scuba diver looking after you all the time). I survived for some time but then the pressure started building up in my ear and I signalled the guy. He signalled me to release the pressure by closing my nose and breathing out through my mouth, which is the standard procedure and it seems, works for most people. Well, it didn't work for me and the pain became excruciating and I signalled, "I GIVE UP". That was it. In the brief period under the sea I did get to see some fish and stuff.

Back in the boat, I was waiting for the others to finish, when the tour guide asked me to dive into the sea (along with a whole bunch of people who were already there after finishing their BOBbing). The idiot that I am, I immediately dived in with my fins, masks, snorkels and all. The mask and snorkel disappeared even before I hit the water. Did I tell you guys I don't know swimming? Well, I don't! and I told the tour guide as much before I took the plunge, but he said it was not required as I would be able to do it with the (leg) fins and the life jacket. There was a big floating trampoline on the side of the boat and I was supposed to swim to that to get back in. I tried flapping my feet and arms. Looked up. The boat and the float seemed stationary, a bit further even. Tried again. Same result. Shouted at the guide, "SEND HELP". I was slowly drifting away. A girl in the boat and another guy in a speedboat jumped in and dragged me all the way back to the trampoline. I thanked them and shouted again at the guide. Got myself a strong tea and a sugary doughnut to clear away the salt taste (and embarrassment), sat back and watched the girls in their skimpy bikinis bobbing, jet skiing and generally having fun jumping up and down on the trampoline (fyi: my wife had stayed back at the hotel with my son). Next time, I'll stick with my original plan, which was skydiving. I was dissuaded from skydiving by well-meaning friends who knew about my herniated disc. And look what I achieved. I bobbed my way across the Pacific, almost.

Now for the rant. It's again going to be about Bharat Mata. Those who feel this entire Bharat Mata thing is getting a bit out of hand and boring - this is the place to get off. I'm obsessed with Bharat Mata recently. Nothing oedipal about it. Just that I became curious after reading about MF Husain's painting controversy. The curiosity revolves around certain questions that popped up in my mind. Who came up with this Bharat Mata concept? And When? Was it there from the Vedic periods, or is it a recent invention? If we accept that the name Bharat was derived from emperor Bharat, son of Sakunthala and Dushyanthan, then can we equate Sakunthala to Bharat Mata and say "Sakunthala ki jai" instead of "Bharat Mata ki jai"? The pictures you see of Bharat Mata generally portray a young woman, fair almost to the point of being a white woman. Wouldn't it be better to show a motherly woman - someone like Malluwood's reigning screen-mom Kaviyoor Ponnamma, for instance - rather than a young girl? What about the colour? The All-Indian "wheatish" complexion, perhaps? And finally, what about the daddy of the country, Mr. Gandhi? Would it be safe to assume that he had some kind of metaphysical, spousal relationship with Bharat Mata? What does Dushyanthan have to say about all this?
These are the kind of thoughts that has been giving me sleepless nights recently and making me go for activities like bobbing and drowning.
Sakunthala ki jai.

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