Ich bin ein Brazilian, Basanti...

"Ich bin ein Berliner" is something that I'd like to say on July 9, 2006, for reasons entirely unrelated to what Kennedy had in mind in 1963. If possible, I'd like to say, "Ich bin ein Brazilian, in Berlin". Because, like most neutral fans of football, I'm a fan of Brazilian football and I hope Brazil would once again play in the finals of the World Cup and win the trophy in Berlin.

Sadly, instead of going to Berlin I'm going on a vacation to Hawaii next week. In the last World Cup my wife suffered as the so-called soccer widow as I was glued to the TV most of the time. This time it is slightly better and I'm taking care so that my son doesn't feel like an orphan.

I'm basically not interested in things other than the World Cup at present. Still, there a few items that interested me. Bans. A few states banned Da Vinci Code and Gujarat banned an Amir Khan movie. Well, I have seen only one Amir Khan movie - QSQT, as it was known - and I would have supported anyone banning all his subsequent films then. Times have changed and I don't care one way or the other. I don't know why Gujaratis want to ban this guy for some stance he has taken. I knew a few Gujaratis during my college days. One guy used to pop-up in the middle of the night on examination eve offering leaked question papers for 500 rupees. The fact that those questions never showed up on the question paper is another matter. Another guy, who was my next-door neighbour, had this penchant for frying lizards on his iron box. I have a feeling that he has ended up as some raving psychopath (no, he's not named Modi) somewhere. I'm not saying all Gujaratis are like this. We have the famous guy, the mostly forgotten, daddy of our country, who is a Gujarati. And then, there's the Code. I can't understand why Andhra Pradesh has to ban this movie when even da Pope has not banned it. It's like banning some painting, though in the case of painting you'll have to take the word of the artist.

You: What are those green circles and squares?
MF Husain: Oh, that is Bharat Mata in the buff.
You proceed to ban the guy.

Talking about the daddy reminded me of the first family, which uses the same Gandhi surname though not related to the daddy at all. Many people abroad (and perhaps even in India) think that it's the same family. Was it planned?

I have a new theory linking the first family with the World Cup. I hope you all know of how India didn't go for the 1950 World Cup, because of lack of experience playing in shoes. I think that's bollocks. C'mon, there must have been a few people who could have afforded to buy them shoes. Like Tata or even Nehru, but nobody did. Why? I did some research and my new, recently discovered "secret Code" reveals that Indira wanted to play in the World Cup and when she was denied by FIFA she turned vindictive and cancelled the whole thing. And she even had the guys dance on glass shards like what Gabbar did to Basanti in Sholay. "Arre O' Samba!"

Let the Samba begin. Go Brazil!!

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