Partying With a Difference

Wherever you live in this world (and especially in India), you're always being reminded of the differences between you and others by the people in power or by those hoping to wrest the power. It could be your caste, colour, nationality, region or religion. In Japan, it's always "waré-waré Nipponjin", or "we Japanese" to denote their uniqueness among the human species. Here in Kerala, the two main caste-based organizations ganged up a few months ago to fight for their "rights" and I was looking forward to the next act (see last paragraph of June 2005). Well, it has started, but before that I must talk about stuff that is common to us, i.e. humans.

There was a time when I (foolishly) thought of Japan and other such developed countries as places mostly inhabited by people incapable (or rather not in need) of being corrupt. I was glad to be proven wrong. Of course, the petty corruption as seen in India may be non-existent in such places, but that's a different story.

Recent events that made me happy:
A construction company in Japan and the architect it employed were found to have built sub-standard buildings in violation of the rules. Scary, in an earthquake-prone country like Japan. These guys skimped on materials such as steel to reduce the cost. Hmm. I thought this was the domain of companies executing public works projects in India.
A pasta manufacturer in Italy was arrested for food adulteration. They used toxic wheat, it seems. I hope I don't end up with a nice fluorescent glow from all that pasta I ate. Not that I'd mind a bit of Italian designed glitter to go with my Italian designed broken toilet seat.
A "lobbyist", Jack Abramoff, pleaded guilty to fraud in the U.S., which has many politicians in Washington in a sweat.

And here in India, we had a bunch of MPs thrown out of parliament for getting caught on camera accepting bribes. The crime was getting caught on camera, not the paltry bribes and stupid things they were made to do. And, for some reason the BJP, or "the party with a difference", begged to differ with the parliament's decision of throwing these guys out. Perhaps, they just wanted to be different. I, however, have a feeling that this "party with a difference" thingy was a semantic and syntactic mistake unwittingly made by someone a long time ago. What they actually meant was the verb "party", as in "we partied all night with semi-naked women in a Roppongi bar". The BJP is not a party with a difference. They just party with a difference

Recently they partied in Mumbai and appointed a new leader who pledged to go back to their core values, which are Ram temple, Ram temple and more Ram temple. The challenge will be to recreate the passion generated 13 years ago when they tore down the mosque. For that they could employ the services of Bollywood and build a mock-up of the mosque, which could then be torn down (and maybe even set in flames for more impact when aired live over the boob-tube). This act should be timed to coincide with the culmination of an air-conditioned rath-yathra by the new leader.

Some of you might be sceptical about how the public will receive such a plan. No worries. The public will buy into anything. They had bought into Lalu in Bihar for 15 years. They had bought into the Marxists in Bengal for 30 odd years. They had bought into the Nehru/Gandhi clan for half a century or more. Or, if you look at the Americans, they elected (though I'm not sure about that) Bush once even after knowing that he did a Lalu on them the previous time. So, we have hope and I'm eagerly awaiting the next elections.

Now for the two caste-based groups of Kerala mentioned earlier. One, the NSS, services a group called Nairs (the "N" in NSS), and the other, the SNDP, serves the interests mainly of its portly, boorish leader, who looks like a bald parody of the comedian Cochin Haneefa. It also sometimes serves another caste called the Ezhavas, though it's not reflected in the organization name. Anyway, they had their first small tiff some time back regarding the reservation (or affirmative action) issue, which was kind of expected. Recently, however, the NSS decided to enter into the service of the Brahmin caste as well by saying that only Brahmins should perform temple rites. Well, I had suspected all along that Brahmins have that extra something. This extra, I believe, is inside their cross-belt thread, which has complex circuitry enabling them to have direct, duplex communication with stone idols. The N(B)SS also seem to have caught on to this little secret. Anyway, the other group, the SNDP, has not responded in a clear fashion to this demand. Would be interesting considering that their members were not even allowed to walk near temples till 1936, let alone perform rituals. There must have been some well thought out reasons for restricting the entry, similar to the reasons (e.g. complex circuitry) for limiting the right to perform rituals to Brahmins. Perhaps it's time to rescind the Temple Entry Proclamation.

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