Did the NDA have a DNA mix-up somewhere? This ought to have been the glory moment for shining Indians all over the world. Instead, what do we have here? An Italian momma giving off the throne to a Sikh! It's surprising the nationalists haven't gotten on to this latest act of minority appeasement by the Kangres party. Perhaps, they're still trying to get over the shock of defeat. Or, probably trying to get away from all that shine and glitter to get a clearer view. Like the eminent columnist in rediff who wrote that he was finding it bracing to eat cold, humble pie etc. for the time being, other philosophers will surely come out soon enough to help build that just society which the stupid, illiterate public had thrown away in their stupid, democratic way.
The thinkers should be happy that they had at least some humble "pie" to eat, cold or hot not withstanding, while a majority was finding it difficult to get humble crumbs of rotis or dosas. The shining, the majority realized, was coming from the stainless steel plates they were washing with Vim at the house of the fair and lovely madams with sons in Amrika. They unfortunately didn't think, "No worries, we have been doing this for centuries. Now, at least we have an opportunity to buy a cell-phone." Under such circumstances, I thought it'd be ideal to start off on an analysis of my own.
Well, here's the analysis about the few things the BJP (NDA was an aberration) should do to make India regain the greatness it deserves, which had been destroyed by all those outside forces.
First thing, as many thinkers have noted, is to realize that the people are stupid. There were already some letters to newspaper editors by incensed literate people saying they wanted to take away the democratic rights of these stupid, illiterates, who won't contribute to the economy nor let others contribute (Indian Express, May 20.) Disenfranchisement may not be a bad idea. Couple of hundred millions of minorities, three to four hundred millions of the poorest in the Hindu pantheon (most of them tend to be from the lower castes too, for some reason) and we're all set. A better option would be to get rid of them. Admittedly, five to six years is too short a period to achieve that, unless you use Hitler-ian tactics. Still, 2000 was not a bad count for starters. So guys, hang in there. Your time will come. A country of 300 million productive, brainy Indians (imagine all those wide open land for the patriots in the diaspora to come back to) would be so perfect that it boggles the mind to even think about it.
Second, as some have already espoused, is to strengthen the Hindutva identity.
There were only some mild pronouncements from some leaders this time around.
For example, "We can never forget Ram," Advaniji told the country
during the election campaign. Well, can we? Especially when we have elections
around the corner. Maybe, just maybe, you could have given it a try. Forget
Ram for a second and try to think of Silk Smitha or Janet Jackson with
a wardrobe failure. The chances are that your cell phone will ring and
your 'bai (maid)' will be at the other end, on her shiny new cell phone,
admonishing you for having indecent, negative thoughts about the Ram Rajya.
Just ask the dancer lady, Ms. Sudha Chandran (who is pretty confident that
India is shining), what is happening with her 'bais' in their shiny new
living areas in Mumbai slums. No, there is no escaping Ram as long as we
have elections to win and air-conditioned chariots to drive.
Nor can you escape Rome, which is a bit strange. It's not the Vatican or a Pope who is doling out sainthoods to ladies with dubious claims of miracles that's bothering us. It is another unfortunate lady who happens to have harboured a secret desire to rule Ram-land (renouncing apart) or at least prepare the stage for her kids to rule. Instead of getting disheartened about this family drama, the Parivarfs fight should concentrate on the purity of being a comprehensive Indian. The definition is a bit fuzzy right now as there probably wasn't enough time to amend the textbooks and the constitution, but could be corrected the next time around. In the meantime, there is also the necessity of stressing on issues like building a grand "Rashtra Mandir" and a "Bharat Mata Mandir" along with the Ram Mandir. I'm sure the 'bais' from Dharavi will be in the forefront of this project. Also, we all should make sure to get a Karunanidhi-style sunglass to protect us from all that "shining" glare.
Once these have been accomplished, we'll have a stable government as in China and this would bring in all those sceptic (sometimes septic) foreign direct investments. Remember, though we are nationalistic and go against most things phoren, we're not stupid enough to say no to phoren money, which anyway they looted from us in the first place! Of course, there is still a long way to go before any of this happens. There are still some regions that have been resisting the nectar (some misguided people tend to call it poison) of religious fundamentalism, but it is only a matter of time before they also fall.
I, on my part, shall shave my head and wear nothing (ok, maybe I'll wear my "white" polyester loincloth) and go off on sanyas. Unless of course, I get invited for a bhaitak or something like that.